Uncertain III

It’s not the big picture that frightens me as much as each little daily snapshot. The little uncertainties. Will I have to sleep for 16 hours? Will I be able to get myself to my appointments on time? How will I feel tomorrow? How will I feel later on today?

All these questions weigh on me. They weigh me down.

But I make plans anyway. I *push through*. I say “fuck you” to uncertainty. I try to make my life as certain as I can.

I try not to overcommit myself. It’s hard when there are so many lovely directions to get pulled in.

I suppose I’d rather not live a certain life, predicting every twist and turn. A little uncertainty can be delicious.

Man, I’m hungry.

I’m on clear fluids prepping for a last minute colonoscopy tomorrow.

Talk about uncertainty, I got a phone call and had to start prepping right away.

Surprise!

Cancel a conflicting appointment, start fasting, start this whole ghastly process with the pooping and the crying and the pooping some more.

Twenty-four hours to go.

I want to stuff my face with potato pizza.

I want all the perogies in the world!

I wanna be sedated.

Yeah, time for a nap.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s